My non-anonymous constructive message to anyone considering using Sarahah:
You are wonderful. And you have flaws. You probably have an accurate enough understanding of both aspects yourself. If you really want to know more, how about asking your parents, siblings, spouse, close friends one on one? That’s the most accurate information you will ever get. Especially on how you can improve. Once you have finished working through all those improvement areas, you will have no need of Sarahah.
But of course, in all probability it is not the improvement areas you wish you to hear about, but the positives. These might be more difficult to get out of people close to you typically, because most of us don’t live inside Karan Johar movies. So there probably have been no songs about our amazing-ness yet. We more likely live in something resembling Farhan Akhtar movies where friends will pull your leg (DCH-style) or parents will withhold how proud they are of you (Lakshya style). But try this- tell them to come right out with the positive feedback, or you will go do ‘sare-aam at the chauraha’, in short ‘sarahah’. Explain that you will seek validation from acquaintances and near-strangers… and seek re-validation of the validation by posting positive messages (which were supposed to be private)…and challenge negative ones to duels, except that you have no power to do anything about it because you willingly put yourself in that situation. If they love you, they will come right out with the positive feedback at this point.
I do not wish to shame anyone’s need for validation. It is one thing that is common to all of us. We all need validation. But one of the most important factors that shapes our lives is whose validation we seek. That single decision shapes who we aspire to be, and hence our every action.
We all seek a sort of ‘harmless’ validation of our opinions, or looks on a certain day, on social media. But it is a whole other level when we talk about the validation of our whole being. Anonymous feedback on a person is not harmless fun. It is not just another app.
In organizations when an anonymous 360 degree feedback survey is initiated for someone, there are a well-defined set of objective criteria (to make the feedback less about the person and more about what they do), a carefully chosen set of respondents (whose feedback is material, and who are in a position to assess accurately), and most importantly, a coach is assigned to help the recipient interpret the feedback results. The coaches are trained and certified to handle the discussions, and a lot of planning goes into when the report should be shared with the person, what direction to adopt for the discussion etc. It is clear that such a process is ‘invasive’ and steps are taken to handle with care and dignity someone’s sense of self.
Please be gentle and thoughtful about what you let in. Because it is you.
Featured Image: freeimages.com
