These runners.. if they are doing it right (running, that is), you wouldn’t dare intrude to ask them any questions. Not even if the runner is yourself. It is in the anticipation before, and in the calmness after, that one smiles and raises a glass to the one who aches to run/ who ran.
There is this person who will shake themselves from sleep early in the morning, or drag themselves at the end of a tiring day for it … or the ones I personally don’t understand at all- who will go running in the middle of a work day, missing lunch, go sweating around half the city, change skin colour, change clothes, change mindset.. and then come back and sit fully dressed in meetings for several more hours as if nothing happened.
Viewed thus from a distance, runners are a fascinating lot. Even to a runner. And by virtue of being one myself in some capacity, I believe I have a peek into their secrets.
Why does one run? Run, not from a wild animal for escape. Run, not to reach somewhere fast. Run, not even like a child in gay abandon. But a deliberate, pre-meditated commitment.. thud.. thud.. allowing the body to warm up to it- no adrenaline of a wild beast chasing that will make your feet fly. Thud.. thud.. as the blood begins to flow. Thud..thud.. over and over, eventually as muscles begin to hurt, and lungs begin to burn.. thud.. thud. The pain barrier is reached.. thud..thud.. The pain barrier is breached. Thud..thud.. None of the above matters… thud.thud..
Here is a breed of people who will put themselves in this pain. Repeatedly. Willingly. For the most noble of reasons. For the most self indulgent ones. To go beyond. Beyond inertia, beyond the mind, beyond the pain barrier.
Going beyond the pain barrier seems important. Running is an attempt to become bigger than pain, and body, and mind. It is an attempt to be in control. This kind of running, it is about proving a point. Mainly to oneself- in that way it is honest. It is an attempt at self-efficacy.
Who are these people? Why do they have this need?
I often think of runners as an insecure, troubled lot.
I often think of runners as those stubborn people that you will find will always bounce back, no matter what.
Look for the people who will run alone. Without warning. Without, at times, a goal.
Watch out also for the ones who set new goals. When someone runs their first half marathon, I wonder if they got the sense of control over their lives that they wanted. When someone runs their first full marathon I wonder if they were finally able to outrun that which they needed to leave behind or vent.
(I have not run either distance myself. Yet. Nor intend to in the future. Yet. So it’s some extrapolation, several observations.)
Notice when people first start to run. I first began at a time when I was completely missing a sense of direction, and literally had no idea what to do.. and pushing my feet forward seemed like the simplest place to start.
I think of Forrest Gump. Beginning to run for indecipherable reasons, and then stopping equally abruptly perhaps when knowing the reason itself ceased to matter.
One also runs for different reasons on different days. Some days it’s hard to know the reason, most days it’s irrelevant.
In retrospect, for me, on most days running is about re-establishing and reinforcing, “My run, my pace”. It is an exercise in not succumbing to pressure. Not to external, and perhaps not even of my own mind.
Patience. Pace. Balance.
Don’t stop. Don’t exhaust yourself.
Preserve yourself. Protect your energy. But stay. Don’t you stop.
Let the pain come. Let the pain go. Let the pain stay. Don’t stop.
Go slow. Go fast. Reach. Don’t stop.
Feel like you are in control. Feel like you are not. Either way, don’t stop.
Feel like you are winning. Feel like you cannot. Feel like winning doesn’t matter. Just don’t stop.
It is a rare liberation to know which voice to listen to. It is so simple, just one thing.. ‘don’t stop’. The brain can switch off.
There are also times I slip up. I believe it was Will Smith who, in explaining his success, said that the only difference between him and anyone else is that if someone got on a treadmill next to his, either the other guy will get off first or Will himself will die on the treadmill. It sounds ridiculous, and pretty anti to my ‘my run-my pace’ slogan. And yet, running is also one place where my almost non-existent competitive streak can show. Sometimes I quite literally have trouble stopping before the person on the treadmill next to me stops first (one of the reasons running in the open is way better).
I once got into this space with a very fit German lady. The two of us ran roughly the same duration and perhaps pace, and when she got off the treadmill, I thought, “Well, that wasn’t bad.” I ran a few minutes more, and moved to other machines. To my horror, she then went back to the treadmill and once more ran the same length all over again. I went back to my belief that my running is not about competing. I am at my most magnanimous when tired. You see, how running increases self-awareness too.
Featured Image: pixabay.com
