Ok, full disclosure. The Tarot spread I am discussing below was not the one that first came up for this month’s reading.
So typically, my monthly tarot reading is a general one, which may be useful for many in the ‘collective’. It is not individually focused nor by sun sign etc. I do figure that the messages, and especially questions, can be used by anyone who feels any degree of resonance with the themes. Often the messages resonate highly with me, perhaps to be expected since I am the most well-defined ‘audience’ of these messages.
This month, however, it felt like the message was meant specifically for me. Perhaps because it felt like being personally punched in the stomach by Spirit, or Universe, or whatever you choose to call this massively benevolent, but not always benign force. So I sat there a long time, a bit knocked out.. even tried to get my notes going. But it became clear to me that I would not be able to write it through.
So I thanked the cards for the message, and then politely requested that they divert their attention elsewhere 😀 I requested, in the second round, for a message which may be useful to someone else who may read this. The message turned out once more to be direct and pointed- not so much exploratory. The spirit be in no mood for riddles y’all, the Spirit be screaming straight these days. The specificity indicates that this message may again be meant for some specific person/ people. If it is so, I hope it reaches. Here goes..
Starting Point: 10 of Wands reversed
Feeling exhaused. Overextended. Underwater, overwhelmed. Unable to look up from the grind, and perhaps close to wanting to give it all up. Rather, letting it all fall down because the strain of holding it all together has got too much.
It could be the weight of actual commitments having burgeoned beyond control, or a head filled with anxiety, or both. Typically when this card comes up, I like to ask what has led to this point? What led one to overcommit/ take it all on oneself? That is often key to resolving the situation, but currently it feels like it’s not relevant, or it’s not the moment to ask these questions. Right now, there’s need for pause and rescue.
Movement Towards: 8 of Cups reversed
A very heavy energy again. This card shows being unable or unwilling to leave a situation which has emotionally drained one. The ‘walking away’ is either not a realistic option or one is refusing to see that it’s needed. Given the placement of this card in the spread, it seems there is still opportunity to address the situation, but quickly, before one becomes so completely drained that they detach emotionally or give up on something.
Challenge: Strength reversed
It’s hard to break from the ongoing status quo when it feels like one’s inner resources are already depleted. There may also be loss of balance or control over one’s internal environment, producing torment and confusion rather than clarity. Extreme emotions likely.
Tools: Hermit reversed
Ok, so here’s the clear message: Ask. For. Help.
It’s not the time to go it alone. To be a martyr, a hero, or whatever other mental image prevents one from saying you’re struggling. Ask a friend, a family member, a neighbour, a stranger, a therapist. Ask more than one and as many times as needed. Don’t mind the no’s, reach for the yes’s you need. Spirit gives permission 🙂 Just don’t keep going alone.
There is a feeling of ‘alone-ness’ carried by several cards here. Alone can be beautiful too, however in this reading it carries a heaviness. That kind of aloneness can be a vicious cycle.. the more one feels not seen/ understood/ related to, in the way one needs, the more one turns away.. and the further one is not seen or understood.
The best move is to recognize when both inner strength (Strength card) and internal wisdom (Hermit) may be low. I asked for further clarification on the Hermit (reversed), and received 5 of swords (reversed). There may be a sense of defeat or shame in asking for help. It helps to remember that life is not a battleground.
Alternately one’s relationships may be marked by power dynamics, and pressure to keep appearances. The nature of one’s relationships may be such that one feels unable to ask or take.
For some reason I am reminded of the phrase ‘sanction of the victim’. When I read it at 17 years of age (which is the last age beyond which one must abandon reading Ayn Rand) this had struck me powerfully. To highly twist and personalize its meaning, it highlighted how maintaining even an unpleasant dynamic requires you to ‘play your part’. The moment you break the unspoken contract of playing your part, the dynamic cannot sustain. To use a thoroughly simple example, if you ask a favour of someone with whom you share an upspoken cold vibe, you have disrupted the relationship dynamic. It becomes harder for them to keep playing their previous role once you’re not playing your end of the previous role.
This is not to say you need to ask an enemy for help, just that there’s ways even when it seems like there’s no ways to get what you need. We sometimes believe so strongly in giving as the respectable role in relationships that we discount the grace in receiving as well.
Given the 2 major arcana cards (Strength and Hermit) in the reading, this may even be a life lesson for you.
Light to you.
